Sunday, September 21

Random post after abandoning the blog 1 year =p

Dear whoever you are! :P

So my last post was 9 Jan 2013! It was really more than a year. Still remember when blogs are trends, and each of my bestie will have a blog to keep our life posted. Was looking around and hey, suddenly I feel like to write a post.

Was reading previous posts and smiling wide right now. Following up from my goals last year. YES I realized my wishes for 2013, I went korea for real with Vivian and  in 2014 HEY I went KK and climb Borneo highest peak with my love! How amazing, the power of ambition and planning is. and YES my freaking first class honours certificate for my degree. All happened pretty amazing. I am so glad and thankful for it. Its just a paper after all hardwork is done, of course not without the maths gang. I will always give them credits because they are always there all along, no matter what and I seriously think I wouldnt have been standing proud with my first class degree in hand without them *loves*, although we dont catch up very often, the thankful thought is always there.

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" - this quote always reminds me to plan ahead of time.I dont like to fail especially with things I matter most. Although the end result might not be as planned but at least plan B always saved your ass, ops I mean my ass. I love to plan ahead, I hate to be rushed or rushing last minute for unplanned events, it freaks me off and get my crazy temper ON! (SERIOUSLY I don't like myself when I am like that so yes I always plan ahead) If anything comes up and disrupt my plan, I could get flexible but will still annoyed if the fact that things can be informed earlier. Well exceptions for emergency last minute change but for those decisions made early but just that information comes on the day/ or the day before, just too crazy.

I love to plan because I want to do my best. Sometimes when committed to too many things, I just felt like letting some off. Over commitment is exhausting. I mean yes, exhausting, when I am exhausted, I am very easily annoyed. That feeling is like "no matter how hard you try, good is never good enough". Annoyed by people who think I am very free,annoyed by people who think my effort is insignificant close to nothing, annoyed by people who think I am lazy and doesn't contribute much(esp if I've already die trying!), annoyed by people who expects you to be there immediately like its an on-call thing, annoyed by people who complains a lot about things that really also applies to them, annoyed by people who keep on making you feel bad for having a good life! seriously yes. It hurts if it happens to be someone you cared about and I probably would get emotional over it. Annoyed by people who always say they want to do something but never put an effort trying to get it started and blame others about it. Annoyed by ungrateful people. YES I am so easily annoyed when I am tired. I don't feel like listening to anyone or give a damn to anything. What I usually do? I stay away from people, plug my earphones on and listen to some hot music, sing aloud like nobody's home, dance like nobody's around. (HAHA of course nobody is around, I stay away from them remember?)  At times when I am super busy, you can only see me during work/discussion time, the rest of the time, I am nowhere to be found! :P

Had a really bad sleeping pattern. 12am-7.30pm is my sleeping hours. I've been late to work recently for a month cause I always can't wake up early without a headache! Trying to pamper myself with "do nothing" day. haha usually thats when I am having menses. I seriously just sleep like there's no tomorrow, I am that tired. hehe. Bosses, I am so sorry but will get back to normal soon I promise :):) Love you !(as if they are reading!) HAHA, actually I love my job now when there is so much flexibility in alot of things, however of course you need to get the job done. Talking about my job, a decision-making job, sometimes there are alot of hard calls to make but you just have to. Either you keep your job happy or you keep the customer happy, first is the most important, but the latter is also importantly related to the first! HAHA! Dilemma. I probably made some risky mistakes but got away with it cause I was lucky, situation is always so nice to me, but I know it won't be for long when there are harder decisions to make in the future. yes, my job involve alot of risk, risk that may costs you alot of money. I guess thats the interesting part that keeps me going. Not just the job, the people ,awesome colleagues! We had hard times together, crazy times when you literally can hear someone laughing like crazy or speaking senselessly (my boss says I am abit like her! OMG, I know what that means, and seriously when my boss isn't around and I was taking charge, it gets abit crazy at times) AND YES, we have happy moments together when someone is treating the whole section FOOD=P hahaha!

Whats next? December Trip to Taipei on an educational trip with my family :P hahahaha! Hope to meet Pan Jian there if situation permits :) My brother from China! =D


I love staying around energetic and enthusiastic people when I am off from work!  I love spending time with people who simply able to make you smile when you don't feel like to. Just narrow down to my CUTE big family cousinsss! :) They are pretty awesome, cute and always never fail to make me HAPPY. Thats how much I love being around them ! Love the feeling being in a big family.

Probably I was alone since young when my brothers moved to Miri, till I meet the bunch of sisters! Walk to school together, share thoughts together, study together. Good times. Good to review to keep you feeling thankful for all the wonderful things that happened in your life.

I always believe things happen for a reason. How good, how bad. Its for the better =)

Till then, I never know when will the next post come~ :P EHEH.

Wednesday, January 9

New year 2013!

Oh well, I've left this blog abandoned for ages, as always. I feel like writing a lot only either I feel extremely emotional or just plain bored. Most of the time in the past, what i do is, New Post > Write alot > Think its too personal or emotional to get published> backspace everything> felt better > phew> ok!

In the end what I wrote wasn't being published, thus an abandoned blog website. Haha. Writing this blog, is like talking to someone (someone I don't even know who, unless you commented!! haha)

Its new year 2013, guess what, and also the final semester in UBD (hopefully!). It is also the time getting headache about whether to study master or not and whether to apply scholarship or not as all these stuffs are getting pretty mental draining to think of.

Plus I did some calculations on the money, with the savings I have right now, going UK is pretty much a draining option even I got the scholarship if I didn't want to burden my dad. The rent especially, and the living expense is quite expensive. Either I am very very very broke when I come back, or I am very very very dependant on my dad to give me monthly allowances for the last few months there. which means, my bank account is going to go negative, government allowances may help lessen a little but doesn't cover all expense. Gone is my emergency fund, and so I am back to think "Is it worth studying master and put more expense to the family?" Yes, if I get a master salary range job as soon as I got back! NO, if salary range doesn't differ much from what a bachelor graduate get. Huhu! So I am putting some nearby countries into consideration, like Singapore.

I planned a korea trip myself earlier last year, and its going to be May 13- May 21 in korea. Sounds great, and yes, it means more pocket money out of bank account. It may have been a selfish decision in the past, and second thought I think I deserved this trip for getting through these 4 years! I didn't ask for any rewards for scoring As, so I guess a getaway isn't that bad also.

I am 22 years, coming 23 years old. Times flies, isn't it? What am I going to see myself in 5 years time, I always ask myself.

My dream is simply, having a simple happy family in a simple house, having a simple life, get to travel once every year to see the world, and a great retirement plan to travel more more!

If I want a great life, it should means, I MUST start realizing it by saving money now! :) Weeee~~ :)

Thursday, October 25

Writing craze

Writing always makes me feel better, that's the main purpose of my blog, to release emotions and thoughts!

I love going to beach if I face any tough problems I can't hold a breathe with. but now I realize that is not practical, it can make me relax but in the end I still have to face the problem and solve it. That was a long ago since my last visit to Jerudong beach, I remembered it was raining heavily and I was feeling pretty damn sad.

Today I felt the same, not only screw up my test, well, it is suppose to be easy if I didn't panic for awhile, I just didn't managed to finish it. What a mess. Still not the end of the world, I am still here, living my life.

I feel kinda off normality these days, I feel abnormal at times. Mood swings, crazy temper, not that I myself can hold it nicely. I just let off very easily. Thanks to the patient maths gang, I wonder how they can tolerate all my craziness sometimes *smiles widely*.

After knowing the answer to a question you thought so hard, it was that easy that you might even want to smack your head to not know it before that. After working so hard, and getting to know your classmates just googled it and finish it within a few minutes just makes you feel like pulling your hairs off. HAHA!. How idiotic but I believe, and I still do believe hardwork will be paid off one day when I hold my graduating certificate with a first class honour (in my dreams, but it might come true, who knows!) HEHE!

These days, I live my own life, without expecting anyone or anything to come by. I do things I like, I refuse to things I don't want to. It feels pretty damn good. YES. It feels pretty that good, also bad because I might look aloof at times, and scary the next. HAHA. I am in the middle of building myself back. After feeling so tired from everything I do, I need this. Some freedom and space I need, not listening to anyone, just do things like a boss.
(WOAH, it feels so good that I kinda loving it now.)

Out of sight means out of mind. I always forget things until I see it, and things that reminds me of it. but otherwise, I can just forget about it without guilty, bleh. I forget a lot of things including I have a 8am class the next day so I slept late, and I was still having dizzy head on the bed cannot managed to wake up! Thanks to the wet hair the night before, I have some headache too, so yea I skipped class. What an "accomplishment"?

I am a random person. Reading from the top, you would realize this is not an organized blog post, I typed as I thought. Huu... so the topics are suddenly here and there. Its a releasing moments, I am not suppose to try hard in arranging it anyways. HEHEHE.

So I've done computer graphics assignment lab 7, lab 8 yet to be done :'(, so much to do. and I feel like watching running man. AHAHA. what.. and yesss, later we'll be having sister night. pretty late, around 10pm+, or 11+pm. Everyone is in "Assignment mode" and prefers to enjoy after hardwork! *thumbs up!* <3 br="br">
AND I just get back my mini test paper, WOAH 20/20, my heart melted, not so soon later I was having my modelling test and my heart broke. LOL! Thinking back, it was all nonsense :(

I wish Baby is here, telling me its going to be easy. Things are GOING TO BE OKAY. WOAH!